Gone tomorrow. But not always as planned.
Guess I've been avoiding talking about the H A I R issue. Of course I knew it was a given, my hair would fall out. But as the days passed and I still had some semblance of Shimon's perfect hair style on my head, I thought, M A Y B E I'd beaten the odds. I stopped combing it, really all I needed was a little spritz and shake. A holiday bow on the side. Spray shampoo so the hair dryer didn't have to get involved. "GLAM" was the word that came to mind. However, just like clockwork, 14 days after the first nasty chemo mix, my hair started falling out. Very quietly, just a few strands at a time. Who would know, I thought, I had SO much hair. I went for another week, then as more hair fell out, it started to hurt. Maria said this would happen, and of course she was right. I guess I knew it was time to take control of the situation. I got a short cut, which lasted a few days, then went all out for the BUZZ CUT. Even this is thinning. I wish I could embrace the words "BALD IS BEAUTIFUL, WHOO YAAH". Although this will probably not be my mantra, I'm getting used to the situation. I wear caps in the house, and wigs outside. I have a short wig that looks good with a wool hat, and a longer wig that passes for the real deal. If nothing else, I'm learning to embrace change.
About the time I started losing my hair, Felix started licking the fur off of his legs. He was a black cat with a white bib and white markings between his back legs. He's now a black cat with a white bib, 2 white back legs and 4 white polka dots on his right side. The vet said he suffering from 1 of 3 things: allergies, ringworm or anxiety. Allergies and ringworm have been ruled out. She thinks he's feeling my stress and suffering right along with me. He's now on antibiotics and kitty Prozac. Jeez. Maybe his fur will start to grow back when I no longer need the wigs.
I'm enjoying the last "good" days before my Thursday treatment. Martha is taking me this time. As Garden Club Med Tech extraordinaire (not to mention proprietress of Rehab West) she has many questions for Dr. Erban. While I concern myself with a blood pressure reading of under 150/100, she'll study the hematology and chemistry reports, and will be able to relate to Garden Club my official standing with regard to WBC, HCT and Absolute EOS.
Hope this finds you well. As always, thank you for your continued support, love and well wishes. I couldn't face this alone, you make everything possible.
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8 comments:
Hi Kathy, have just read your blog - you write so well! Needless to say, I have definitely felt your pain. It simply sucks. And then, amazingly, you WILL be through it and it will be great. The nurses used to say to me one day at a time. It's actually more like one hour at a time. Call me anytime if you wish, and I am really thinking of you. Karen (un-Martha)
Oh Kathy,
I SO well remember Meghan's difficulty losing her hair, so know pretty much how you must feel. I am happy to report that Meg has had 3 FREE haircuts (the "cancer card" can work some pretty good deals) and actually has to tie back her thick tresses. What a difference a year makes.
Your writing is truly wonderful...I look forward to hearing less and less of Igor. My good thoughts are with you and bad thoughts are with Igor.
Love, Judy
Hi Kathy: Thank heavens to find you home when I called today. I have been glued to reading your blog, every word from the start to finish, now all caught-up. You are a wonder,as well as an inspiration to all plus your spirit is remarkable. Although I wish it joyous news, how thankful I am Marcia just let me know, talk about living in another world and it's only Cape Cod! Please know you are in my thoughts and send my love, Patti
p.s. I don't like Igor either!ui
It's finally ok to lose ones hair..it was hard to control it at 430am..keep the friends and keep the faith...
Kathy - Mom has gone to bed for the night and I've thought about you and decided to check your blog. I am so sincerely impressed, once again, with your wit and your mental strength. Your positive outlook, the loving support of your family and friends and the grace of God will get you through it all. Believe me, though, you will never look like your uncle Louie, ha-ha. Fortunately for you, you inherited the tall and lean genes in the family while I got the short, stocky genes. I am truly happy to hear that Igor is not doing well. Continue to be strong. I'll be thinking of you. Lois
Kathy,
Steve told me today about what you have been going through. Although I am intimately familiar with the lovely experience of breast cancer at MGH, I was one of the lucky individuals who needed only radiation and no chemo.
I hope you feel good about MGH, where in my experience, they have the most caring and competent docs. This gave me reassurance that at least I was getting the best care that is available.
I admire your ability to view all of this with such a good attitude and most importantly a sense of humor. It can make all the difference.
I can tell from your blog posts that you are not only a fighter but a survivor. Keep punching.
Although we have not yet had a chance to meet, I am thinking of you and am here if you want someone to talk with.
Kathy -- you are indeed made of strong stuff. Sally and I are now dedicated readers and we are holding a good thought for you.
Hey, Kathy: Great report. We are indeed with you every day, thinking good thoughts for you. Tomorrow we will keep low numbers in our thoughts, something well below 150/100. Hats are very warm and a good thing this time of year. BB
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